The Animal in Me

Posted: January 6, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

I’m just a pussycat, really,
so why did I explode today –
use words I never use
to a poor defenceless call centre girl?
If I tell all, my blood pressure
will go through the roof again
so I won’t.

Suffice it to say that my bank
gave me the runaround,
passed me from pillar to post
and back again.  It took an hour
to make a transfer no different
from any of hundreds
that I’ve made in twenty years.

This is no poem, it’s a rant.
I did apologise for the language
if not for the rage that caused it.

“Ever have a day when you weren’t quite yourself, or maybe you felt like more than your usual self? Did someone cross you and your claws came out? Or, you needed to find the mustang within yourself and break free? Or perhaps you morphed into mama grizzly or ran with the wolves? On the other hand, you could even have found your inner sloth and spent all day relaxing! Find the animal within yourself, or within a character. We’re going to leave the actual critters at the zoo. I want the beast inside you to come out. Or the animal beauty!” This was the prompt that met my eyes at  just after I had put the phone down on the bank, snarling and spitting.  No animal beauty in me I’m afraid.  I used some of my spleen to write what my bank manager Dad used to call a stinker of a letter which I will not send until I’ve cooled down!


Dear WordPress,

I am brooding about the recent wordpress changes that have invaded my blogs, and come to the conclusion that you are ‘manned’ by children – and backward children at that.  Some of my blogging friends have been seduced into wasting their time and talent by responding to pointless, idiotic and unfunny prompts.  It is irrelevant that some brilliant and witty writing  (mostly at your expense) can be the result. And another thing. 

Why do you persist in telling me I’m groovy, or that I rock and other inanities when going from draft to publish a post.  And I don’t want to know how many words my post contains. 

If this trend is  the output of a group of pre-teen text-mad idiots, what hope is there for my grandchildren?  Please grow up, WordPress.  Stop sending me  Spam, do your job as facilitator for bloggers to communicate with their readers, and then pipe down.


Silly limerick

Posted: September 30, 2011 in Uncategorized

An elderly poet named ViV
had a brain like a very coarse sieve.
Everything went
‘til her words were all spent
and she has no reason to live.

This totally untrue limerick (well, partly)  is for

On Writing in Books

Posted: September 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

If the book isn’t yours, don’t do it.
If you own it you are free
to deface, despoil or decorate
with margin notes, asterisks
exclamation  marks
and underlinings
to remind you of a salient point –
you agree or disagree;
to correct solecism or typo,
flaunt for flout
or less for fewer –
bugbears to be indulged,
the editor instinct
difficult to suppress.

On Writing Books?
Ah, that’s another matter.

Debt Management, US style

Posted: August 5, 2011 in political

I’ve been puzzling over what’s going on across the pond, and haven’t come across many bloggers’ comments, so thought I’d try a bit of a rant to stir things up a bit.  It seems to me that the government of the US of A is a bunch of lemmings poised at the cliff-edge of total disaster.  Lunacy’s the word I’d use to describe the idea that borrowing unimaginable sums of money in order to pay the interest on the unthinkable sums of money already borrowed.  If they can’t service  current debt, only an ostrich with his head well and truly in the gritty stuff could conceive of the daft idea of raising the debt ceiling.  Multiplying/extrapolating an already horrendous problem only adds to the disastrous result of spending more than you have on things you don’t need (like wars?)

3 ways when short of money:  work for it, sell something or go without. 

Viv ducks the inevitable brickbats.

What is it with Blogspot?

Posted: May 30, 2011 in Uncategorized

that they make it so difficult to comment
on a Blogspotter’s posts?
At least 12 clicks to land my words
and another 12 to return
to the site I started from.
Doesn’t Blogspot like its bloggers,
does it want them to
languish in loneliness?
Pull your socks up, Blogspot.
Get a grip.


Posted: April 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

Following Tillybud’s Hub’s advice, I took the pink camera monster into the up-market photographic studio in Coutances yesterday afternoon.

The kind man found a setting which just about worked, but he told me that the camera was on the way out.  Jock was with me, or I wouldn’t have dared, but in the supermarket I bought an all-singing-all-dancing-expensive camera, the same make as the old Olympus. 

The instructions were rubbish, and it took me all evening just to programme the time and date, let alone do the setup.  You were firmly warned not to put in a memory card before setting up on the compter.  In the end, son -in-law helped me via Skype and I achieved the setup and registration at midnight French time. 

This morning, I inserted …er tried to insert… the memory card from the old camera, to take some test photos.  It didn’t fit.  Blue smoke and language erupted from my mouth.  WHY OH WHY OH WHY don’t they standardize the blank blank things?  Or better still, include them with the cameras?  The salesman had missed a trick and another sale by not telling me I needed a different one.  GRRR!